— Honor The Birth, Be in The Moment
Pregnancy Complication & Perinatal Loss
Bereavement Doulas Support Loss
If You Think You Want or Need Support, You Can Have it
If you and your partner have been given the sad news that your baby will not be born alive, or may require life-supporting measures at birth, a different version of yourself will begin. You no longer have the privilege of planning anything related to your birth, baby, or future like you anticipated.
I will stand with you as you give birth, accompany you through special rituals, and support you in the next steps of your parenting journey.
The research shows that emotional health (not the same as happy) benefits from experiencing birth as its own event, before moving into the plan for goodbye.
Preparing for Birth During Loss
Should you find yourself facing a serious outcome with your baby, you should give some thought to your baby’s birth. Regardless of the age or health of your baby, his or her birth is an important event that will stay with you forever. Given the implications of that memory and once-in-a-lifetime occurrence that it is, you deserve to have a birth plan describing your wishes. As a separate life cycle moment, birth is one that is honored before the cycle of grieving or death. The grieving process that follows loss is a separate part of your journey. You can find sample birth plans here.
As a Still Birth Day Bereavement Doula, I am trained and certified to stand in the darkness with you. My support is offered into th postpartum period with hope that resources and support bring some peace on your parenthood journey.
When We Don't Know What to Say
Besides being present with bereaved parents, there is nothing you can say to take away the pain. When we understand that our presence or companionship is enough, we are less inclined to offer advice. Therefore, words that come off as hurtful, insensitive, or inappropriate are never spoken.
As a doula, I accompany families through loss. Most hospitals do not have bereavement doulas on staff, so if you know someone who is suffering a prenatal loss, carefully consider your words and offer to connect them to a doula.
Resources for Parents or Families
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