Choices During Pregnancy – For most of us, pregnancy is the first time in our adult lives that decisions and choices are made with the safety and health of someone else in mind. Where we once thought about how a partner, a university, home town or career move would fit into our future plans, we know consider many more “smaller” choices that have a much farther reaching impact. How do birth and postpartum doulas support families in their exploration of choices in a culture of hurried, mostly well-meaning health care?
Among first-time parents, birth doulas are most commonly associated with midwifery care, home birth, and “crunchy folks.” Postpartum doulas are still a treasured resource that are most often discovered after Googling Night Nurses. After consulting your insurance, the choice of an OB will probably be the earliest big choice. Doulas work with obstetricians and midwives in birth centers, birth centers, and home births. When choosing a provider, talk to them about having a doula. Her presence in your birth space and in your preparation greatly increase the likelihood that you will experience a vaginal birth.
Understanding and learning about birth takes time, and thankfully you have months to accomplish what is most important to you and your partner! Take a childbirth education class. Decide if in-person or virtual suit you, read the foundations of the methods – Hypnobabies, Lamaze, Body Ready Method – and sign-up. Next, reflect on your own personal feelings about birth, pain, and intense emotions. Your doula is an excellent resource to express thoughts and feelings about those topics. She may refer you to a social group or therapist to dig deeper into your mental preparation. Talk about feeding, sleeping, and pediatricians. Use this time to make decisions, so when you are presented with choices, you are armed with knowledge.
Make a committed effort to understand what postpartum recovery really looks like – if you have ever made a recipe that looks nothing like the content put out by its creator then you will have a good perspective on the reality of bringing a baby home. The photos of matching PJs, make-up, and professional photos are a snapshot of time with serious preparation. Newborn babies deep and demanding needs bring fatigue, hunger, and a day or two of missed showers. A postpartum doula fills the gap with meal prep, tidying, emotional support, and TLC for the family. A village is not a defined group of friends – it is a ziploc bag of favorite take-out places, laundry service, dog walkers, and apps for late-night TV. Newborns like to cuddle and be comforted while you sleep in your bed, and a doula has the credentials, background check, and service-based mentality to journey into early parenthood with you.
Read evidenced based books for prenatal and postpartum preparation. Knowing what to expect can alleviate the insecurity about the unknown and remind you that your intuition tell you the answer if you let it speak. This is true for sleep, feeding, bonding, sharing, and raising your family. Partners will do things differently, and that’s ok. You will make mistakes and that’s ok. Your parents and friends will advise you from their limited experience. A professional doula is a resource that works herself out of a job, if she is doing it well, all while comforting your family, sharing knowledge with your important people, and encouraging you to always choose what feels best to you.