Opinion and facts – our daily interactions within the community are usually fall into one these two broad categories. Over the last few months, I have considered the value and impact that opinions and facts have on pregnant people, their birth choices, and the satisfaction that they feel after welcoming baby earth side.
As someone who is intimately attached to my clients, it is important that I serve clients as objectively as possible, but also with empathy from having been pregnant, given birth, and experienced postpartum recovery.
Here is what where I landed as far as doula support for my birth clients: Facts and evidenced-based information are the best information I can share with my clients to prepare them on any topic related to pregnancy, birth, labor and postpartum recovery. Facts and evidence are easy to defend, giving the best chance of being a reliable basis her own choices, especially when emotions and vulnerability are blindly high in labor.
Opinions, on the other hand, are judgements based on very limited experience. Even doulas who have 500 births will be influenced by their experiences, as will obstetricians, midwives, nurses, lactation specialists, and pediatricians. Opinions are most helpful in preparation for birth when our clients understand and realize that facts are missing from the conversation, especially important if a provider is using opinion-based language (rooted in fear, power, vulnerability) to sway a decision to a direction that they feel is right. This type of conversation is an expression of opinion. When faced with these choices or conversations, an easy and proven approach to decision-making in birth is BRAIN.
Your birth doulas will share resources with you from reputable organizations, researched, respected and reliable. The initial contact and selection of a doula are often based on certifications, availability, and price. These are the facts, things you can research and see. As you work on a birth plan, talk about topics that are emotionally-charged, or intimidating to you or your partner, you build trust in her opinions, experience and honesty. The relationship of the client with her doula becomes more intimate, the most important piece of continuous care in the birth space. Your opinion of your doula and your earlier choices align when you feel safe, while understandably curious or unsure about how it will go – but excited to find out!
When your baby is born, anyone who is part of your circle of support will have a shared experience with you, your partner, and your baby. Your doula will hear conversations that you may miss, your partner will share intimate moments with you that others cannot absorb, and the nurse may be caring for your physical needs and miss a moment that you recall vividly. Cherish your birth story, protect it from the opinions of others, especially if they speak from the point of very limited birth experience – you will remember your baby’s birth for decades, and preparing for that day is an ever-expanding ingestion of fact, opinion, and perspective.
I would love to be your doula and share a journey filled with knowledge, support and connection. To read more about me, visit me at Judy White Doula.