When I am introduced to a prospective new doula client, it’s almost always like a chat with someone in the line next to me at HomeGoods or the grocery store. By that I mean, it has that same feeling as those brief encounters that start in line because we admire their purchase, or realize unintentional eye-contact has been made with someone in close proximity. Interacting with someone we do not know much about, combined with the anonymity we feel when we are not certain we will see someone again, gives us the chance to be ourselves, let our guard down. The interviews used to make me anxious, I would wonder if I was prepared to answer their serious questions, hope that my background was appropriate but no too personal, and that my gorgeous big dog would not bark at the Amazon guy leaving my kids’ packages at the door. I was worried that the person on the other side of the screen might actually see ME, the person they’d welcome into a sacred space for emotional support, and honesty but instead of embracing that vulnerability, I attempted to restrict it.
I do not recall how or why, but I know that one of those interviews brought me a new client together with revelation. That revelation changed how I saw those brief, somewhat anonymous exchanges. It helped me see that there was no reason to script the 30-minute Zoom sessions because this role of a birth or postpartum doula that I aspire to having may start with the credentials, location, or fee, but it finalizes itself in good chemistry, honesty, and the freedom to be one’s self in the presence of the other. If you are expecting a baby and know that you want a doula to support your vision and education, reach out and talk about your thoughts, your anxieties if you have them (I think most of us do at some point during these major life cycle events), and your dreams.
So, congratulations on your pregnancy! Of course you’re excited, wondering how you can do right by your baby in birth and postpartum, thinking how amazing it would be to have a doula ease your transition from who you are now to you will become as a parent. Remember this, almost everyone you meet hopes that their passion, sincerity, and skill will come across over Zoom! Every couple says they have no idea what to do with a baby – but yet babies continue to be born and raised in the loving arms of their parents. Use this pregnancy as an opportunity to meet someone new – someone who can add value to your life experience by sharing space and honesty with you. I encourage you to ask your friends what they loved about their pregnancy, what they would do differently next time, and to keep their scary stories off the radar. Then, explore the opportunity to have a birth or postpartum doula as part of your parenthood journey. You deserve to rest, be supported, educated and fed after contributing a new human or humans to our world. I would love to be your doula…